DELUSIONAIREWEAR!

Provided the Florida contingent of the Dels remembers to toss 'em in the truck, and provided we don't forget 'em at the house as we leave for the gigs, the Delusionaires are gonna be stockin' an honest-to-Allah merch table's worth o' dry goods at the aforementioned two shows.  In addition to our still-steamin'-fresh LP FLOOZE PARTY (vinyl-only, kids, but it comes with a free mp3 download, so quit yer whinin' and think of it as art), plus a limited number of the DESTINATION POON reissue (CD-only, 'cause $$) and the BEAVERAMA SUPER COLOR FUN ACTIVITY BOOK (complete with crayons while supplies last!), we're hawkin' some hot-offa-the-grill bling, swag, and stitchery!  Our first-ever pinback buttons (YOU try fittin' a 12-letter name across an inch & a half, smartass...), some novelty ceramic coasters grudgingly handcrafted in the catacombs of Mondello Manor, and our first line of shirts in over a decade!  All priced to move, and quick, so show up early with a coupla fins & sawbucks and help ensure we ain't stranded in the city where you hafta live!

WEBFULL O' WAX

I'm man enough to admit that sales of our new LP FLOOZE PARTY have dropped precipitously since its release in mid-January, but ya can't say we haven't tried.  Well, actually, you can say that, 'cause we haven't!  There's been no shows since the release party (where, it must be said, we sold a veritable shit-ton o' spinners -- thank you, Orlando!), and the pleasures of promotion & distribution are best enjoyed by men less aged and cavalier than we. In short, we haven't done squat to try to move this mother.

Good nooz is, a coupla far cooler cats have taken up the challenge, so if yer one of the desolate few not to have scored this slithering spinner, yer in luck!  We're proud and pleased to report that you can score the monumental mayhem of FLOOZE PARTY with a coupla quick clicks at Go Zombie! Records (where ya can also snag a CD copy of the Dels' first longplayer, 2003's monolithic DESTINATION POON, while supplies last!) or, in a palm-sweatingly palpitating development, from the legendary Norton Records, in whose company (smack dab between the Dictators and the Black Lips!) we find ourselves dizzyingly honored, humbled, and bewildered.  Either way, yer a winner -- give 'em a click and a spin!

And finally, for those of ya preferring a more personal shopping experience, we are proud to boast that you can pick up our little wax aphrodisiac in person at the incredible Psychotronic Store at 859 1/2 Broad Street in Augusta, GA (Map), worth a trip from anywhere in this great nation.  Set aside the better part of yer day, 'cause it's only the pleading eyes of yer spouse that's gonna pull ya away from this titillating trove of treasures.  Finer company we could not keep!

SHE CRAWLS ON HER BELLY LIKE A REPTILE!

From the vaults: The stunning Lynn Fontane stars in an ersatz video for this teetering tango from the Delusionaires debut album, 2003's DESTINATION POON.  Color film was invented for this dame...

"Orlando’s Delusionaires bring us this soundtrack for a Fawcett Gold Medal paperback. This instrumental is redolent of cheap cigars and bourbon – and that’s just the way they like it. Travis McGee probably heard this stuff in a bar during a salvage operation." -- Warren Moore, SPINETINGLER MAGAZINE